Lock-down Day 45

I had some strange dreams this morning, a weird mix of activities ... driving around, planting cats, shopping freely, going to work ... it was a weird jumble of images. Mippies let me sleep till seven, but then they rebelled. Lifted the lid of the flower fountain, sat down on my keyboard halting my audiobook, jumping and strolling across me ... ai, ai, ai!

I opened the door, and Ziva dashed outside ... the rest came strolling along leisurely, though.  And I sat down at the PC to catch up in the game, which I had neglected yesterday.

I also scrolled through Facebook and came across several news articles. First, one giving a little insight into the whole cigarette ban thing - that it was apparently an intense argument. Then, somewhat worrying, though expected, that our government is keeping secrets ... I feel like a child here! Kept in the dark, told what to do, and threatened with punishment. And then an article on the sale of cigarettes - how easy it is to buy them, despite the ban! And sadly, on Facebook, people have shared about family and friends who have committed suicide. One in particular has just quit heroin - and the additional, forced abstinence of cigarettes at the same time was just too much.

I've also come across comments that police confiscate cigarettes from cars! Without much regard to legal or illegality of purchase! I'm getting more and more agitated about going shopping tomorrow ... I'm thinking of leaving it till Wednesday ... But now there's also the threat of hard lock-down, Level 5, coming back. I'm getting agitated and anxious - as a result of which, I'm smoking! Which I can't afford! At the same time, I really need groceries ... Oh, and remember the letter to the president written by the lawyers? Here's the follow-up.

Sigh, I REALLY wish I could buy some cigarettes! Seriously! Yeah, I know I'm not alone ... Right now I'm hyper agitated about this shopping trip tomorrow. I've had a look on the map for those places my landlord suggested - but I've decided to simply go to Ninapark Spar, rather than risk getting lost in an area which I'm not very familiar with. Oh, normally, I wouldn't have a problem - I know I can find my way back from anywhere, but right now, when I don't know what's going on out there? And limited cigarettes? I light a smoke when I'm anxious - so, if I get lost now, I can't. Which will just increase my anxiety. So, I'll stick to places I know well.

I've abandoned the idea of driving to Glenfair - even though I know that area well. I think that I'm more likely to encounter road blocks on the highway - and I also need to drive to work, so I might as well stay in the same area.

I'm sounding absolutely paranoid! I feel paranoid, too! I mean, I'm not planning anything illegal, not even planning to find cigarettes! Which, from what I gather, are practically sold out already, anyway.

Well, I've written my shopping list, so I just need to decide on quantities - which will depend on prices. I've got my scarf ready, which is hot, but it'll do. I'll feel a lot better when I'm back home tomorrow. When I've got my groceries, I'll call my colleague to find out what was delivered where, then go pick up & drop off my refuse. And from there I'm going straight back home.

It's going to be tricky keeping mippies shut in tomorrow morning, but that's why I plan to leave early. I don't know what time the shop opens - normally at seven, but now? Could be eight, could be nine - I don't know. I'll know tomorrow.

There's talk to give the police and army the freedom to search your home and your car without a warrant now ... how much worse can things get? Well, at least some people are speaking up. And, of course, the ANC retaliates thoughtlessly. They don't seem to realise that they are not merely responding to one individual - but that a lot of South Africans feel exactly the same way ... and we are NOT childish, just because we are being treated like children! Oh, and here an article speculating what's going on inside the ANC.

All mippies came inside early without any trouble, even Ziva! I gave them 2 sachets tonight - hopefully I can give them a few more tomorrow night as a special treat!

I've just had another cigarette ... I'm taking that packet, with just a few cigarettes, with me tomorrow. I'll leave the vaper at home. I'm also leaving the passage door shut tonight - hopefully that will make my getaway easier tomorrow morning. I've taken a shower tonight, then had to wrestle with Mini for my towel, ha ha! It's white, like Janey, she loves white!

Well, let me try to sleep ...