No Power Sunday

Woke up in the dark - again! No, not before sunrise ... no power! The beeping UPS didn't wake me, so power must have gone off quite a while back. I did check the mains - being the eternal optimist that I am - then checked whether Eishkom may be surprise load shedding. Nope, and nope.

Nobody else was reporting power outages, so ... first things first: Coffee! Haul out the gas bottle, fill the kettle ...

Then report the power outage! By now, others are also waking up and finding their power off - and they're also reporting it.

I passed the time by watching news ... not much news on a Sunday, though. Mippies demanded cuddles left, right and center, though!

Having a hard time to get started today ... bread dough is on the go, I've paid rent and bought electricity. Budget is stressing me. Again. I'm going to hang on to my credit card payment until payday ... I can pay what I budgeted, but since I made purchases with my credit card, I'd like to cover that, too. At least the fruit juice isn't an issue. I'll do that from work tomorrow, though ...

Interesting side note here. The prime rib turned out to be a bit too rich for my colon. I read somewhere how bay leaves counteract richness in meat, so I thought I'd give it a try. Guess what? Apparently it works! Weird, eh? Well, I think it is.

I have to say that this whole work stress is seriously getting to me. I feel like I'm in denial of suffering from depression. In part because I know from experience that 'fake-it-till-you-make-it' can work - but not forever. I think it's catching up with me.

I'm at a stage, where I'm having to work on myself just to do the 'musts', and when they're done, I don't actually feel like doing anything, not even weeding. I just force myself to start ... and I'm beginning to run out of energy to get myself started ...

Which isn't really surprising - everyone's been living with a black mark over our futures ever since the beginning of the lock-down. World-wide. First weeks, then months of no income, then back to work ... yet business' going down more and more.

Lock-down is finally over ... and yet, instead of re-building, re-growing, getting back on our feet ... we're facing the end. Our business has never gone through this many months without production ...

What keeps me going, as best I can, is the knowledge that it's world-wide. It's not just me. It's not just our business. It's not just South Africa.

And we're much better off than anyone living in the Ukraine. East or West.

So, no. I'm not giving up, nor am I feeling sorry for myself. Well, okay, a little. After all, I'm the center of my little universe. Yet I am loosing hope ... hanging in there is getting harder ...

Well, just after four and everything is done. Kitchen is clean again, lunch is packed ... I'm contemplating an early bath again. I also have a headache ... had it most of the day. Can't shake it. Mild, though, so I haven't tried meds, yet.

And that's another weekend done ... with nothing more than chores. It's not a good life, at the moment. I drive myself through each week looking forward to the weekend, and each weekend I struggle to motivate myself to get just the chores done ... only to start the cycle again.

I hope to see light at the end of this tunnel soon ...