No TV, Just Life: 22 June 2017

Colourful morning view of the sunrise again, the Morning Star has moved away from the sickle-moon shining it’s own private light on the world. The sun reflecting on the clouds before it has actually risen could truly take one’s breath away ... except, well with so many breathtaking views, I’d go blue if I literally stopped breathing every time. Hmm, interesting new colour addition to the scenery?

Work today was again very busy, with a collection of new orders coming in, which I need to process (as in place the orders with local manufacturer providing them with all the drawings & details they require). At lunchtime I continued reading the feminist blog I found, and it got me thinking: What about the empowerment of women who WANT to be Housewives? I mean, not every woman feels the urge have a career. Aren’t we shaming women who want to devote their lives to their family, exclusively? With phrases like ‘just a Housewife’ aren’t we implying any woman who’s ambition in life is to keep a home for their family is somehow inferior? And let’s not forget that at the same time we’re shaming any man who has that same ambition! What if Housewife was a professional career, with studies, qualifications and employment? Lets face it, the skills expected from a Housewife are not genetically implanted in females – any more than males are genetically implanted with mechanical skills! It’s just a thought – one of the many strays flitting around my brain.

And now my mind has gone completely blank! Rather than writers block it’s more like Thinkers block!

I’m always fascinated by people, who’ve lived their entire life in the same city. I sometimes wonder, what my life would have been like, and what I would have been like, if we had never left Wilhelmshaven. Ok, so that, too, is not where I was born, but it is where I spent the first five years of my life. My sister was born there. I still remember the phone call from hospital, my dad phoned to let us (Grandma and me) know that I had a little sister. I also remember him saying the first thing he asked her was whether she wanted to give me a blue truck or a yellow crane as a gift, and at blue truck she had cried – so that was my gift! We lived in the house my mum grew up in, there. Zoppoter Straße. It had a cellar, where my dad had some tools and a bit of a workshop. And an attic, where all sorts of magical items were stored! I remember once finding a pink alarm clock with Swow White and the Seven Dwarves pictured on it, and being told how that was my mum’s when she was a little girl. I don’t remember my room, but I do remember a staircase. I also remember I had a swing in the garden. I remember a bed of asparagus behind the house. I have a lot of fragments of memories from those first five years. I remember a christmas play in Kindergarten there, where I was to go on stage as an angel and I cried and cried and didn’t want to. I also clearly remember not understanding WHY I cried or didn’t want to go on stage for my turn – at that time! I also remember making a defiant decision to keep remembering things I was told I was ‘too young to understand’ until I would be old enough. And I did, too! Once I understood them, they’d fade though, making room for new memories.

Like, I remember I used to let out a Tarzan-Yodel (a la Johnny Weissmüller) calling all kids to play outside. Or once I thought that if I could jump from a height and flap my arms while walking in the air simultaneously, I could fly!

And sometimes I try to extrapolate from those fragments of memory what my life would have been like, had we never started moving. Would I still be friends with my best friend at that time? Or were we just best friends because we lived across the road from each other and were the same age? Would I have been bullied less, had I grown up across the road from two big brothers? My mum’s best friend’s two sons were like brothers to me – so cool! I do remember more than one occasion were either of them ‘took care of’ bullies. Would I have grown up less insecure, stronger? Or would I have merely become more arrogant rather than confident? Could I have become a bully, myself? Or would I have felt overshadows by family – there’s a whole clan living in or around there; both my mother’s parent’s (i.e. my Grandma & Grandfather) come from extended families – all settled in or relatively near Wilhelmshaven.

However, since I’m very happy with who I am today, none of that is really relevant.

Just one pet-peeve: When asked “Where are you from?” I just never know what to answer! I don’t have a hometown or a place where I’m ‘home’. So, do I say “From (insert last place I lived)” or “From Germany” – but that always leads to “Where in Germany?” and we’re right back where we started. Do I say (last place I lived in Germany) or (Town where I was born – I was 3 months old when I left) or … what? But what’s most annoying is that most of the askers don’t really care where I’m from – they’ve got some story about Germany they want to tell and the question is just the opening.

Well, that was a long meander down memory lane! Let’s hope my mind doesn’t go blank too often for this blog! Back to reality, back to here and now.

Urgh, I’m cold! Memory Lane was warmer! The wind picked up today so much that I had to bend quite far down to water my veggie- and flower-beds – the wind literally blew the stream all the way onto the path! No point to even try taking picture – they’ll all turn our blurred cos them teeny flowers just won’t hold still. So I’ll close with some pics from last month!