Lock-down Day 149

I slept very well - which helps, considering the circumstances. I try not to think when I go to bed - given my brain, that takes work. But I've had 15 years of practice, so ... I'm okay.

I had a good laugh at my mippies earlier. I was cleaning the litter boxes and Mewthos settled on my back. Janey saw that and tried to join him! That didn't work out so well and her claws sort of touched the tender skin by my hips - she immediately jumped off, but I hadn't expected that. First time they tried to both settle on my back at the same time, ha ha ha!

I'm stressing - of course - about finding a place that's right, for me AND for my mippies. Seeing them run off so happily today again has me wondering, whether a garden will be enough? I'm standing in the door and thinking how they would feel, if they had only the lawn space to play? But then I remember Earl's home - which is also a garden about that size. But it has a lot of trees and toys for the cats, places to hide, places to play - everything they need. I just have to hope ... I have no control over what's on the market. Even if I had all the time I wished to find 'perfect' - I'd have to give notice, which might not be in line with the availability, so there's always a timing issue.

All I can do, is have faith. Faith that it will work out as it's meant to work.

Yesterday, after announcing my unavailability for the next couple of weeks, I got mail from a fellow telling me to send her the spreadsheet I do. Yeah, not asking, but telling me. She has a very abrasive manner, which is somewhat irritating. She's recently started doing the same spreadsheet for another fellowship, with a lot of help from another experienced player, and is very quick to tell me that I'm wrong. Well, I've only been working that spreadsheet for 2 years, so she probably knows far more than I do! Yeah, that was sarcasm. On the whole, since it's freeing me up, I'm just gonna go with it ... no longer my circus nor my monkeys!

This morning, after I let mippies out, I did play for a while; now without any pressure. Which makes a really nice change!

Pressure did come, of course, from the mountain of work ahead of me at home - the reason why I freed my time. And that mountain is on top of my normal weekend chores ... Sigh.

Laundry is hanging in the lounge. I'm wondering whether it's a good idea to leave the floors for tomorrow? I've started packing again, the spare closet. And found, to my chagrin, that my mirror hadn't survived the last move - turns out they stuck it back together with tape and just packed it in the back, where I never even looked at it, since I've moved in! Ah, well ... 

Dishes are washed and I was just asked to NOT smoke on the inside of the door, but to step outside to smoke. Is there ANYTHING I do that isn't supervised and micro-managed? He did ask nicely, though - which is a little scary ... I don't know what to make of that!?!

Okay, so I felt like cleaning ... I started by packing up the fan and the foot spa. That space at the head of my bed around the wooden box? Terrible! I swept and washed that. Then the space between the window and the bed - my word, Mewthos has been busy! It's only been two months since I've spring cleaned and it looks like I've never cleaned since I moved in! Well, looked, no longer 'looks' - I've cleaned it again. I'm also using my eco-bleach on the toilet, which is making a difference.

I'm vaguely hoping - seeing as my every move is being watched - that the difference will buy me some time. Although, they only notice activities they don't approve ... they never notice anything they approve of. Or they would have known that their 'inspection' was after the first weekend that I hadn't washed the floors - they see the puddle outside, where I was told to empty the bucket, rather than throw it down the toilet. They throw their water out on their front lawn - which I find strange.

Yikes, and just like that it's half past four! I think I'll spend the rest of the afternoon stuffing myself cigarettes for the week. I'm a little worried that I haven't baked cookies, made dough nor washed any more tobacco ... maybe tomorrow?

For Pete's sake! I just got crapped out again! Because I did what I was told and smoke outside ... but not far enough outside! Seriously! When I used to go around the corner to smoke, nothing was said, so I went back to smoking by my table, like I had done all along. Yeah, I'm in a no-win situation here - no matter what I do, focus is always on something I'm either not doing or doing 'wrong' - by their standards. I just hope that I find a place ... seriously! I'm getting scolded like a naughty child!

Ah yes! Alcohol is back on the shelves, too, isn't it? That explains the moods! And the outbursts! I noticed that during the lock-down, during Level 5 and 4, I had a lot of peace - few or no outbursts. Then, at Level 3, when alcohol was available again - bam! Water off, forbidden to bath, etc.

I must have been like that, when I was still drinking: unreasonable, self-centered, explosive, unpredictable and aggressively defensive ... man, I'm glad I'm sober!

It's been overcast most of today, so I'm a little cold. It's almost six - I wonder where my mippies are? Time to bring them in, give them their treat and ...

Crikey! Talk about moods! I was just standing in the door, waiting for my mippies - not smoking! - when the old grump-bag came walking along again. Made a bee-line to talk to me ... and ... first he apologised for the way he had gone off at me earlier! Crikey! This is getting bizarre! I told him that, when I had started smoking around the corner, nothing was said, which led me to believe it made no difference - and he asked ... politely! Yeah, I was stunned, too! ... He asked me to smoke around the corner. He also said that, when I smoke out the door at night, the smoke goes right into their bedroom and he wakes up as his chest closes - and asked, if, when I smoke at night, I could please stick to the vape. Told you they watch my every move! Then he mentioned the mail, and that I must please pick up the feathers - I said that I used to do that, and whenever I had picked up the last feather, another bird was brought in - and mentioned the manure attracting the birds ... and he told me that he would fit wire around all the trees to prevent my cats from climbing them! Huh? WTF? Oh, and he had emptied my potting soil and compost ... and that I must please pay attention to the garden, as per the contractual agreement. Again: Huh? WTF?

So, if I do my best to clean, smoke only around the corner, stop smoking cigarettes after dark (when I'm not supposed to go outside, as it's not safe) and do something in the garden ... that'll buy me time. Bizarre!

So, tomorrow, I'll be spring cleaning the floors - again! Oh, I'll continue packing, too - but first priority will be the cleaning, for now. Maybe I'll even pull out whatever died in the garden. He also said something about throwing the cat droppings in the garden? I have NEVER done that! Everything I pick out of the litter box, goes in the trash!?! Which means he can only be talking about the cats doing their business in the garden - and what the (insert word of your choice here) am I supposed to do about that? Cork them?

It feels to me that they are taking advantage of the current economic situation - they must be assuming that I'm practically broke, and in no position to move - to control my life. Or rather, to force me to live their life. Weird!

Mippies came without much of a wait. Lady was last, but not really late. They've had their treat and have each settled in a place ... they seem to be waiting for something? Mewthos is in the kitchen. No clue why. I'm gonna make myself more cigarettes again ... I'll see tomorrow, whether I can find time to bake cookies, make more cookie dough, wash some tobacco and cut it ... and let's not forget cooking food for myself as well as baking bread. I doubt I'll manage it all ... but I'll get some of it done. My best is good enough :)