Cuddly musings

After the trouble I had falling asleep, I oversleep – quite late. In desperation, Mewly climbs on top if me and starts twirling the top I’m wearing! Then he plays with the light cable, then jumps back on top of me – until I give in and get up. I’m still too sleepy to go out, so I let the Mips out with Ziva. Strangely enough, Ziva sticks around, by my side, while the Mips happily run into the garden!

Not for long, though. Soon it’s Ziva who’s off roaming and Mips returning. Mewthos is particularly demanding. I have not yet found the ideal cuddle ritual for Mewthos – he likes to stay on the ground with me bent over him, which I can’t do for long. When I sit down on the floor, he rolls around and some rolls take him out of my reach – and he doesn’t come back. So he’s never done – never gets as much attention as he needs. He likes to be draped over my shoulder as well, but he gets restless and jumps off only to sit mewling for more. I’ve tried compromising by having him roll on the chair – which is at least within comfortable reach for me – but again, he rolls off and then sits mewling.

With Lady Jane, we have a ritual. I let her climb onto my shoulder, cross my arms in front of me so she can walk about where she likes, and with whichever hand is free I scratch her hears, stroke her fur and she rubs her face on mine, especially my nose! After a while I tend to let her down onto the chair and she’ll either come back up for more – or go her merry way. She has her way of getting her attention needs met.

In a way, so does Mewthos. He has his naughty ways to let me know he needs attention, like toppling over the waste bin, chewing my USB, playing with the lamp wire. But we haven’t found a way to meet his needs, yet.

Ziva is the least demanding when it comes to attention – and with the two demanding Mips, she does at times get neglected. I think that is why she sometimes hisses and swats at her Mips. I make sure that I frequently visit her when she’s on the bed while I’m still up. And when I come to bed, I always spend some time with her. When she comes in, I always tell her how happy I am to see her and spend some time with her. I always make the time to watch them eating their wet food – because Mewthos likes to switch bowls mid-meal. Lady Jane has no problem with it, she’ll just switch with him – but Ziva will stalk off in disgust. So, when I see him trying to move in on her bowl, I pick him up and place him in front of his own again.

There are times when cats should sort out their own differences – but there are also times when we need to step in, because they can’t. It’s the same with children. We don’t let our children sort out their own differences when a younger child is ill-mannered toward an older child. It’s a parent’s responsibility to teach ALL their children manners. Leaving it up to the older child to assert themselves – how? Sure, Ziva is bigger and stronger then Mewthos – just like an older child is bigger and stronger than the younger. But I’m not going to force Ziva to bully Mewthos – it’s my place to teach Mewly manners.

Ziva has a passive, gentle personality. She will adapt herself to her environment – like she has learned my likes and dislikes and adapted herself to fit into my life. Such as learning about litter boxes (she didn’t know when she first arrived), not bringing in birds anymore, staying inside at night. Like seeing me off in the mornings and welcoming me home every night. And retreating into the bedroom when the Mips irritate her with their desire to play.

Lady Jane has a very active, adventurous and out-going personality. She does not seem to fear rejection – because, unlike Ziva, she has never experienced rejection. She is not afraid to make demands on me, because, again unlike Ziva, she is not afraid of loosing … her home. Ziva has had hard times, Lady Jane has not. Ziva has been hungry, Lady Jane has not. Lady Jane wants to learn everything I do, and tries to figure out if she can do them herself. She is, in many ways, a forward … child. She has no fear of loosing my love, her home, and as a result she simply takes what she wants when she wants it. Yet, without ever fighting. She has never had to fight to survive.

A lot of that goes for Mewthos, too. Except Mewthos is less active and more reserved than Lady Jane.

Against that, Ziva is in an impossible corner: If she were to use her size and strength against Mewthos – she risks being rejected by me. In her mind, that is. So, I cannot let them ‘sort themselves out’ when Mewthos drifts over to Ziva’s food bowl.

My parents put me into that corner. And since I'm no bully, I got walked over. And labelled as weak. Oh, and if I had tried bullying, I'm sure I'd have gotten a hiding! 

Oh my gross! I just went to take a nap. I woke up when Lady Jane insisted on cuddling NOW. As I roll over I smell something … and found a wet pile in my bed, on the feather duvet, covered by my duvet! That’s why they all the cats huddled on the one side last night! How could I have missed this? Easy: cats cover their … droppings to cover the scent. And their noses are much more sensitive than mine – so they had covered it successfully. Certainly from me, since my sense of smell is not very good. Until I rolled over and disturbed their ‘cover’. So now I have to wash not only the sheets, but also the feather duvet!

That is the biggest difference between sharing your home with pets and sharing with human company: a child or companion might surprise you by taking care of a job, so you find less work than you thought. No pet can ever do any household task for you! Though they may surprise you – so you find more work than you thought!

I wouldn’t change the company at my home for anything in the world! My home is filled with love and entertainment and cuddles. It is void of malice, anger and manipulation. My pets want to make me happy and I want them to be happy. There is no power-play, no mind-games, and no disagreements over fair and unfair. Just love and play. And lots and lots and lots of cuddles! My relationships have not been very happy ones – they would start out happy, but never for long. I think it has to do with being independent, strong woman in a still mostly male chauvinistic culture. Come to think of it, I don’t know of any German woman in a lasting relationship with a South African male. Vice versa, sure. Well, I no longer care to understand or analyse – I’m happy with my life. Especially with my household!

Around five the little ones were napping around me, so I shut the door, put on my shoes and went out to get groceries. Of course they didn’t say asleep – the instant I got up, they got up and followed to see ‘what mommy doing?’ They let me get out without being difficult about it, though.

I haven’t been able to find the fine sand my Mips prefer in their litter box in the three shops I’ve been to these past three weeks. They usually have it, but now they are out. The usual PE approach to their customers: Who cares what you want? So I’ve had to opt for the expensive crystals. Or go on a search from shop to shop tomorrow hoping to get lucky! There is no place that I know of where I can rely on finding what I need. They all run out of stock and when the shelf is empty they shuffle other stock into its place … and maybe they’ll re-order, maybe they won’t. That lackadaisical attitude is the reason I try to stock up on everything – but I just can’t keep enough stock to cover their ineptitude. For example, I’ll stock up a month’s supply of litter sand. Then I use one bag and try to get another … now the month is over and I’m out. Still nothing at either Spar or Makro. Oh, and would you believe they had milk on the shelf which went sour two days ago? Fortunatley I checked the dates before selecting mine.

Anyway, back at home the Mips rush out as soon as I open the door – but drift back inside as it gets dark. Ziva also comes in early – and is highly unhappy with the closed door. But it is now dark, and I care too much for her safety. I’ve also mixed some Probiotics with the Mips food, hoping that will help clear up any residual runs they may still have. For myself, I’m filling up with Re-hydrat. I hope that will resolve my own problem. I think it’s also why I feel so low on energy today. It’s what happens when I eat too much fruit – or drink too much fruit juice.

Well, I’ll make it an early night tonight. See what tomorrow brings.